those crazy fbi agents

FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place:

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.
Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.
Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.
Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?
Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.
Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.
Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?
Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.
Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.
Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?
Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don't think so.

Click.

Source:  Laugh & Lift

smile and learn

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.   

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!
 

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

• Free your heart from hatred — forgive.

• Free your mind from worries — most never happen.

• Live simply and appreciate what you have.

• Give more.

• Expect less.

Enough of that crap. The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

Moral Lesson of the Story:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.

amusing quizzes to beguile you…

here are a couple of tests from blogthings that have captured my fancy. they're not exactly scientific but i really found them amusing.

like this one: Which Foreign Guy Should You Date. for some reason the results told me that i'd go well with an Italian hunk. hmmm…

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy. An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming. If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him. Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

and here's another: What Color Is Your Psyche. i didn't even know it had a color.

What Color Is Your Psyche?

keep walking

do you know that the organs of your body have their sensory touches at the bottom of your foot? if you massage these points you will find relief from aches and pains. as you can see in the illustration below, the heart is on the left foot.

typically they are shown as points and arrows to show which organ it connects to. it is indeed correct since the nerves connected to these organs terminate here. this is covered in great details in acupressure studies and textbooks.

God created our body so well that He thought of even this. He made us walk so that we will always be pressing these pressure points thus keeping these organs activated at all times. :-)

adrift…

for the last few months i have been so busy reorganizing my life, rearranging certain activities under new headings and trying to see things from a different angle. it's a work in progress and i think i still have a lot to do before i can finally admit to myself that i have healed fully and ready to face life again with all of my former determination. the past 2 years have been tough, but i think i'm near the end of my struggles.

i've been a lot of poems lately, which will probably cause a lot of my friends and acquaintances to lift their eyebrows but for some reason i've been finding some hidden meanings in some of them. i've been told that pain and newly found maturity can do that…

i know that a lot people find emily dickinson's poems too dark and morbid, but for the moment i draw strength from some of her lines

Adrift! A little boat adrift!

Adrift! A little boat adrift!
And night is coming down!
Will no one guide a little boat
Unto the nearest town?

So angels say — on yesterday –
Just as the dawn was red
One little boat — o'erspent with gales –
Retrimmed its masts — redecked its sails –
And shot — exultant on!